Entity versus incremental self-theories

I think that I apply the entity theory to some of my physical skills because I see the physical body as less malleable that the brain. For example, I've never believed I had unlimited potential when it learning gymnastics.  I don't carry the same type of body as those that typically excel at the sport.  I do believe I could learn some skills but I don't think I don't think the potential for advancement is that high.  

I apply the incremental theory most other things in my life - growth in my mental, emotional, spiritual, social skills.  My ability to learn, parent, play the guitar, practice and teach yoga.  It seems that our GAs our based on this theory, that we can always better ourselves and aren't stuck it our habits or ways of thinking.  

I think that my occupational choices have been influenced by theories I have about myself.  For example, I used to run a ton and I carried and entity theory that I "was a runner."  I was "built like a runner" and therefore was pre-destined to be a runner.  It was a natural skill for me, I experienced few setbacks, and it became easier with more practice.  Eventually, however, I reached a peak and felt I couldn't get much better than that.  I think this is common for a lot of athletes.  The gains you make in your skill become smaller with more practice as you reach the limits of your biology/mindset.  At that point, I ran to maintain the skill but didn't continue to challenge myself and eventually I lost my drive to continue it.  I can't blame it on lack of dedication or practice - I was a college athlete and ran everyday.    Even as a mediocre college athlete I was still a much better runner than most of the rest of the world and found safety in that knowledge.  I never had a major "test" to my identity as a good runner.  But once I completed my college career, I dropped the occupation fairly quickly.  I could see myself pick up running again one day because I recall fondly the flow state I achieved when I was really fast and competent at the skill.  Right now, the challenge is too high though and my skills are way too low that it would take months of practice to get back to the flow state.  Interestingly, even though I haven't run in years, I still identify as a runner or with other runners.  

I have evolved into a more incremental self-theory, especially about everything beyond my physical skills.  I see the ability to parent better, increase patience, become a better person, and increase my compassion and in that aspect all of my social occupations feel like they will only get better with time.

I do believe I hold the capacity to become a guitar virtuoso... or at least really competent, even though I don't come from a "musical family."  I was going to use the excuse that maybe my hands/fingers aren't big enough to a great player but a quick google search proved me wrong - there are a few famous guitar players with small hands.  So really, in my mind, there isn't anything holding me back except my dedication and resources to learning the new skill.  And resources beyond time aren't even an issue because most of the best guitar players were self-taught The Secrets of Self-taugh, High Performing Musicians.  As an incrementalist, I believe that any set backs I'll experience are only due to a lack of dedication or time spent practicing.  I understand, however, that entity theorists may struggle with this more as they may see a set back as a sign that they aren't meant to play the guitar or don't hold the inherent skills to do so.

Flowy stuff

This is where I stand in my song.  The entertainment value of the video lies in my son more than me... 

It's nice to have a little song to play when I want a break from the lesson book.  I realized I need to practice my body mechanics more, both strumming from the wrist and properly placing my thumb on the back of the neck  of the guitar.  

I have experienced flow and I do think I have an autotelic personality so I find it in my life often.  I could write about finding in it writing or running, yoga or gardening.  However, I'd like to argue about the experience of childbirth as the most intense period of flow I've ever experienced.  I gave birth to both of my children without any pain medications so I was very present and engaged in the process.  While I think many in developed countries with the technology to mute or ignore the stages believe the process to be one of hormones and no real action on the mother's part, I'd argue that is not true.  A mother can choose to be fully engaged in the process, allowing the pain, working with the body and sensations, and mentally accepting instead of fighting the process so the body can metamorphose into another shape.  All of the characteristics Csikszentimihalyi and Nakamura describe were present for me during my experiences... focused concentration on my actions in the present moment, merging of action and awareness, a sense that I knew how to respond to the whatever happened, distortion of temporal experience, and finding the experience intrinsically rewarding.  I know the last part seems strange, given that it is the product of the experience that most seek.  However, the experience awoken strength and abilities in me I never knew I carried.  It was the most empowering thing I've ever experienced in my life and if I could experience childbirth again (without actually having a third child to then raise) I think I would do it.   

I carry low skills in the guitar realm (see video above) and also I think low challenge.  I realize that I could challenge myself more with this but I'm not actively trying to create more anxiety in my life.    In order to create flow, I'd need to challenge myself more but also build my skills because without the skills I'd just give myself more anxiety or other un-motivating mental states.  I know musicians often experience flow but I've only heard of them being highly skilled musicians.  I think I heard of flow a few years ago from a podcast... maybe this one TED Radio Hour Maslow's Human Needs.  

I have an autotelic personality.  I am often striving to learn more and take on more challenges, despite not always having the resources to accomplish them at this time in my life.  I'm a persistent bugger, and as far as self-centeredness, I feel like my husband would be a better judge than me :).  It was interesting to read how this actually isn't in everyone.  I guess I strive to find occupations that provide the opportunity for flow.  But I also think I understand myself and my energy patterns closely so that I can match the challenges I know I'll face through the day with the skills (energy and focus) I have through the day so that I can create more flow.  I think I've just thought of this as efficiency but maybe it's optimizing flow through the day?

Space and Place

I'm close to getting this song down!  I keep telling myself that when I get my chord transitions a little smoother then I'll upload a video.  I don't often play for more than 20 minutes at a time, as I find I still don't have the finger strength to hold down the strings effectively for longer than that.  

I have moved around a bit and as I reflect on those places that I've lived (northern NJ for 18 years, the jersey shore for 1 year, southern VA for 5 years, Boise 1 year, Stanley 4 years, and Pocatello 4 years) significant emotions come to my mind as I look back on each of these places.  Each was a container for really specific experiences in my life that shaped me into who I am.  I look back on each place with mixed feelings because my memories are of both hardships and growth mixed with emerging self-identity and beautiful friendships.  I have always been someone that finds spirituality in nature so a lot of my memories involve exploring an area in a physical way through hiking, running, skiing, kayaking, etc. and specific seasons in that place, like the fall in VA with the leaves turning along the Blue Ridge Parkway.  Even driving yesterday through my neighborhood brought on a flood of emotions I can't really describe except it felt like spring because of the warm weather and I was transported back in time to the spring my son was born 3 years ago.  

I think that the transition from space to place is gradual, but it doesn't take long.  For example, hotel rooms that I've stayed in over night don't carry a sense of place to me.  They were typically a means to an ends.  But hotels that I've stayed for a weekend are definitely a container of experiences.  Last spring our family spent a weekend in Missoula because my husband had a conference.  Our friends were staying in the hotel with us so we got to spend time with them, play in the pool, and play along the river.  We all also progressively got a 24-hour stomach bug while we were there.  Also, my husband won a cooking contest and got to meet Steven Rinella, an idol of his, and my daughter split her chin at a park there but I was watching my friends kids also and didn't know where the urgent care was so we never got it stitched and her scar is still palpable.  There are a ton memories, both elating and horrifying, associated with the 72 hours we spent at the Holiday Inn in Missoula.  So I'd say it's a place for me, especially since we are going back to the conference again this year.

I practice playing the guitar in our living room.  It's the space where most of the action in our house takes place, aside from the kitchen.   So it's a place with lots of memories already.  The memories aren't defined by the guitar but by times we've all been together there.  Even within the room, however, I had a tendency to practice in my chair at my desk.  It'd be interesting to practice it in a different corner to see how the new space shifts the way the occupation takes place.  

Spirituality and all that jazz...

I have occupations that have enriched my spirituality.  They including parenting, yoga, meditation, gardening, outdoor explorations like hiking, hunting, rafting.  And yes, my spirituality has enriched these occupations.  It's hard for me to decide which came first.  Like we've read in other works, such as Wiseman's paper on occupational development, it seems to me that the relationship between spirituality and the occupation has been interactional.  They growth together, because of each component.  As I first started writing this, my response was that my spirituality and playing the guitar are not connected.  However, my one and only song, has a spiritual message and some days if i'm open to it, it resonates deeply with me in a spiritual way.  This thought makes me think that anything can be spiritual if we are open to it.  If our mind is in the right place.  Similar to maintaining mindfulness while performing a simple or ordinary task, if we set our mind to the right place any activity can be conducive to a meditative or enlightened state.  

I think it's a great thing that spirituality is included in the OTPF.  It is described under client factors alongside values and beliefs.  It is described as "the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred" (Puchalski et al., 2009, p. 887).  I suspect that a lot of people are not highly spiritual.  I wasn't a few years ago.  It is not something where  I expect everyone to be on the same page, just like values and beliefs.  Not everyone carries strong convictions but for those that do carry them, everything in their life is revolves around them and the values, beliefs, and spirituality should not be ignored.