Boredom schmoredom

I spent lots of time over break playing the guitar and I started to feel intrinsically motivated to participate. If my plate were a little clearer, I think I could really invest a lot of time into playing.  I love music and I love learning to play different songs.  I've been honing in on Country Roads and Jolene because they both have basic chords and only 4 or 5 in the whole song.  I started playing bar chords (Bm and F) with some proficiency but it takes me a while to position myself into the chord.  My finger tips on my left hand continue to callous over.  

This song exemplified the view of the one participant who never experienced boredom in Martin, Sadlo and Stew's (2006) study.  This participant had a positive outlook on life, a developed sense of humor, and involvement in many interests.  She lived in a ALF, which some in our culture would view as terrible - especially given the aging in place movement, but she positively adapted to it and was content to spend her days in her small room and occasionally visiting with family or out in the main lobby.  Cantor and Sanderson (1999) quoted Brickman and Coate's 1987 work, that "happy people know what they want and are doing it."  This describes the song perfectly.  They singers are participate in activities they like to do.  Cantor and Sanderson listed the idea of a "right way to participate" as a lingering issue in research.  It is understood that different people carry different values and therefore participate in life differently depending on what is meaningful to them.  The writer of the song incorporates activities that our society would consider as a waste of time and that was a concern of some participants in Martin, Sadlo and Stew's study - that they were wasting time.  However, the writer of the song does not view them as a waste of time.  It's all about perspective.  Finally, the song jests about participating in solo activities that many people would find "boring."  Participants in Martin, Sadlo, and Stew's study found being alone as a precursor to boredom.  However, the writer of this song jokes about preferring to be alone and being content with that. 

Capo rhymes with ... Tape-ooo

I trimmed my nails this week!  I've been keeping them trim so I can better press down the strings... this a change in personal factors to accommodate my new occupation.  I also took the time to google what a capo is and now my music is a little more in key.  The capo is the long clip thing that you put over the neck of the guitar.  

This is probably something I should have noticed a little sooner in my journey because it totally changes the pitch, making the strings higher.  I sound much better now.  

The main resource I need to commit to playing the guitar is time.  I'd guess that is a personal resource.  I also need a guitar (material) and capo! (material) - things we already owned, and part of the reason why I took up the occupation.  I also like to have internet access (material) to look up chords on random songs.  This isn't necessary but is something that enhances my experience.  A personal resource I need is a level of dedication and persistence to the occupation.  If I had a guitar teacher, I think that would be a social resource.  If I had guitar teacher, it would probably lessen the amount of dedication (personal resource) I need to bring because there would be an external driver to practice.  Although I don't have my husband supporting me by teaching or pushing me, the fact that he now picks up the guitar and plays it more is a social support in another way... kind of like a social acceptance  where we are affecting one another indirectly.  All of these things (minus the lack of time) help to ease my participation and therefore facilitate persistence.  

I do lack a clear goal with this occupation.  I guess my only goal is to accommodate the class's demands (an external and not personally driven goal).  Gollwitzer and colleague's research suggests that if I don't create a goal once the class is over, of practicing an hour a week or mastering a song, I am unlikely to achieve my goal of learning to play the guitar.  That research also supports why I haven't really been doing lessons from the lesson book and have instead been setting goals of learning a song.  I find I work better with my own goals and rather than working through a lesson book where goals are not self-created.

In King et. al.'s Resilience, the authors organized factors affecting resilience into three categories: personal factors or characteristics, social support, and a third and less important (for lack of a better word) category- a philosophy of self-acceptance.  Similarly, Cantor and Sanderson's 1999 work said that three resources were needed to persist in participation in occupation when adversity arises.  According to King et. al., personal characteristics are things such as effective problem-solving skills, good coping abilities, and positive view of self.  Social support is supportive families and communities (parents that function well, friends, peers, mentors that promote our ability to cope with life's challenges).  The final resource is an ability to learn from themselves and accept themselves.  Cantor & Sanderson differ in their "resources" in that they do not consider an ability to learn from life or create a philosophy as a distinct resource.  I would ague they likely would categorize this under the "personal resources" category, similar to King et. al.'s personal characteristics.  Cantor and Sanderson also include social support as a resource, however Cantor and Sanderson add a third resource - material or tangible resources.  This was mentioned in Resilience as something that promotes participation - access to medications, wheelchairs, etc - but not given its own category.   

Who am I

Last week I found myself picking up the guitar almost everyday because it's just a fun break from school work... it began to replace the moments I would have chosen meditation or yoga instead.  So, I'm not advancing really but I'm enjoying it. 

As much as I hate to admit it, I do think that societal ideas played a role in choosing my occupation.  I didn't choose the occupation of yodeling.  That would be weird   Guitars are universal and easily understood and accepted in my society.  Plus, we already had one collecting dust.  If I gain enough skills that I feel confident I could share it with others (aside from my immediate family) and that was something I wrote about being a goal in one of my first blogs.  But I don't want to share it in the "watch me perform" way.  I don't see it as a tool to creating an identity of being "the musician" that wants to draw an audience.  I'd never be comfortable with that.  I'd rather have the skill so I can create an environment of peace or joy that music brings and facilitate that joy in others.  I suppose that goes along with the identity I want to ascribe to myself already - one that helps others find peace, joy, grace, and a better connection with self - at least those are my goals for teaching yoga and (hopefully) providing therapy in the future.  And yes, that is dependent upon feedback from society because I can tell when I've taught a yoga class that achieved my goals by the feedback I receive watching the class and then talking to students afterward.  

My posting of a video last week was an experiment in the I versus the me.  I recorded probably 4 or 6 times before I decided that it was "good enough" to share.  The I was playing the guitar while the me   judged on the I's performance.  When I play by myself, however, I'm not sure the me is very present. I mean, I don't do strange things like play the guitar with my toes, but I don't make sure my clothes are clean or that I'm playing brilliantly.  I guess it depends on how you define me.  I do observe but is the me solely observing or is it observing plus placing judgements based on societal expectations?  I observe my progress, change in finger strength or stamina, etc. but I'm not sure if I've compared it to societal expectations.  Has my I perceived my me?  When I'm alone I'd argue me isn't around a whole lot.  But when I tried to record a song, I felt a some stage fright (me) creeping in and affecting the way I performed the song.  This made me reflect on Hasselkus's chapter on place.  Maybe we all need a place or corner where the me isn't really around and I can create/explore/exist without as much social pressure, allowing a most natural expression of self.