Last week I found myself picking up the guitar almost everyday because it's just a fun break from school work... it began to replace the moments I would have chosen meditation or yoga instead. So, I'm not advancing really but I'm enjoying it.
As much as I hate to admit it, I do think that societal ideas played a role in choosing my occupation. I didn't choose the occupation of yodeling. That would be weird Guitars are universal and easily understood and accepted in my society. Plus, we already had one collecting dust. If I gain enough skills that I feel confident I could share it with others (aside from my immediate family) and that was something I wrote about being a goal in one of my first blogs. But I don't want to share it in the "watch me perform" way. I don't see it as a tool to creating an identity of being "the musician" that wants to draw an audience. I'd never be comfortable with that. I'd rather have the skill so I can create an environment of peace or joy that music brings and facilitate that joy in others. I suppose that goes along with the identity I want to ascribe to myself already - one that helps others find peace, joy, grace, and a better connection with self - at least those are my goals for teaching yoga and (hopefully) providing therapy in the future. And yes, that is dependent upon feedback from society because I can tell when I've taught a yoga class that achieved my goals by the feedback I receive watching the class and then talking to students afterward.
My posting of a video last week was an experiment in the I versus the me. I recorded probably 4 or 6 times before I decided that it was "good enough" to share. The I was playing the guitar while the me judged on the I's performance. When I play by myself, however, I'm not sure the me is very present. I mean, I don't do strange things like play the guitar with my toes, but I don't make sure my clothes are clean or that I'm playing brilliantly. I guess it depends on how you define me. I do observe but is the me solely observing or is it observing plus placing judgements based on societal expectations? I observe my progress, change in finger strength or stamina, etc. but I'm not sure if I've compared it to societal expectations. Has my I perceived my me? When I'm alone I'd argue me isn't around a whole lot. But when I tried to record a song, I felt a some stage fright (me) creeping in and affecting the way I performed the song. This made me reflect on Hasselkus's chapter on place. Maybe we all need a place or corner where the me isn't really around and I can create/explore/exist without as much social pressure, allowing a most natural expression of self.
dibs!
ReplyDeleteLiz!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would like to start off with how much I enjoy reading your blog posts as they make me lol! :) I kind of like the idea of Liz the Yodeler! But on more of a serious note, I noticed a lot of connection to societal expectations and it really got me thinking about how much society influences what we do and why we do it. And although I think we as humans rely too much on other's perceptions of us, it maybe isn't always a bad thing. I think it helps us find a commonality and we are creatures that enjoy connection to individuals, which I think impacts our overall health and well-being for the better. Which brings me to my question for you! Do you think societies expectations influences who we are to the point where it ultimately shapes our identities more so than our own personal wants and desires? And if so, do you think that's good, bad, or both?
Ahh, you're right Lacey. I am coming around to the idea that yes, we are very conditioned by our environments (social included) and that it isn't a terrible thing all the time. I think there are a number of people in the word that float through life making decisions based on what would please people around them. And those people (I think) have to be miserable. But like our reading for this week said, if your goals are in line with your deeper sense of self, then you should be good. I guess it depends on whether the environment one grows up in stifles self development or if it allows for self exploration. Not all social conditioning is bad, but in some environments, like for example, a strict Muslim country, it could be very counterproductive to an individual learning about their intrinsic abilities.
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